motorman

Minneapolis will soon be known for something new. For most they are cute and cuddly but for others they are simply a menace. Regardless of your position on the matter the proliferation of these creatures will not be sustainable and has to be stopped. For what is becoming a common occurrence in the city are the rascally rabbits. I am not a scientist but I have noticed more and more of these hoppers in and around the area, and sir, I do not like it.

A close friend asked me the other day, “Why do you care?” I have a number of reasons of concern for this growth in the rabbit population, but it comes down to two main points – one they have to eat, and two they keep on multiplying. If you have read between the lines of this post you probably have guessed that I have more personal vendetta towards these herbivores. Yes, yes I do.

It began a few years ago. motorwife is an avid gardener, a botanical artist, so we decided that the motorhome needed some landscaped pallets on which to create. We spent one entire summer pulling up sod, tilling earth, shoveling soil, compost, and mulch, and set over 400 9-lb brick pavers to edge these beds. This was pain-staking work, through the rain, heat, and winds of the summer. Fortunately, they look great and motorwife has really brought some life to these in the past years. The motorhome looks great. Unfortunately, all good must weather a storm or two to become great.

Shortly after the completion of the summer long construction project, we began to notice the presence of a new critter in the yard, a small grey-furred white-tailed rabbit came hopping through the back forty each dusk and again around dawn. We both thought this was great, this cuddly little creature hopping around the happy yard. What a slice of the American dream, the yard – our land – our sanctuary is inviting and welcoming to more of god’s creatures. The majesty of it all, ah, well that euphoria was short lived.

This creature of god, hero to millions of the world’s youth, has an unexpected hunger. It became evident to the two of us that it was not the tranquility of the yard and the beauty of the gardens that was drawing this rabbit to live with us at start and end of each day, for buggs has got to eat and we had the buffet of buffets for his gluttony. Shortly, the stalks, leaves and petals of a number of the plants that created the horticultural portrait disappeared. Slowly at first, then so quickly that it seemed like the autumn harvest was underway.

As soon became clear, the harvest that continues summer long, was due to buggs’ new and growing family. For the term “like rabbits” is there for a reason. This spring the family has grown into an extreme force. The first attack came early, and our tulips had no chance. Tasty, I am told. Then the assault turned to towards the hostas. “Hosta la vista” the battle cry of this conquering army. Our defenses were weak and after a number of applications of liquid fence we had no choice but to erect the chicken wire. Our once picturesque garden started to resemble the battlefield of Verdun (without the artillery impacts of course, but a devastated landscape none-the-less),

We are strong and we will rebuild. The garden enemies are now found hoping down more and more streets of the Minneapple, I even found them downtown yesterday. So the war will continue and the more battles will be forged. The question I keep asking is how aggressive will it become, I am reminded of the events of from Springfield were Homer and the gang were overrun by lizards or pigeons or something and the response was to find it natural predator to eradicate the herd. This continued up the food chain to the gorilla, then winter came to take care of them. Will be need to go to these lengths? I hope not, but in warfare common sense has a tendency to disappear. On to the battlefield and victory!