motorman

This evening I went to the fridge to retrieve a snack and I saw some of that great flashback from youth (i.e. oh the comforts of youth). It is the grand processed American cheese – individually wrapped for your traveling pleasure. I grabbed a slice; okay two. As I have grown older I have developed a deadly appreciation for cheese. Motivation to saddle up on the bike, I guess. Unfortunately there is a bigger problem to the universe than simply the threat of premature coronary embolism, I regret to have to announce it here at motorman, where we work for, and assume, the intelligence of the human race, okay at least the minimal intelligence of Americans. For goodness sake – IT IS AMERICAN CHEESE.

Continuing to digress a bit, we Americans have a namesake cheese that for aficionados is (1) bland, (2) over processed, and (3) has yellow that does not appear naturally in the cheese world and maybe only in the world of Crayola.

I pull this slippery slice out off the stack turn it over and see imprinted on the packaging “OPEN HERE 2”.

I pause. Let’s all pause.

Okay, has life become that complicated that we need direction to open the cheese singles? Come on, I mean it was never that difficult. As I think about it I blame the lawyers for this new symbol of American culture. I know most of you think I should blame the schools. But you are wrong. Here is why – don’t matter how dumb you be, if you need to eat, you get the cheese open.

The way I see it, someone allegedly fractured a bone, lost sight, became deaf, or contracted Alzheimer’s due to the lack of proper instruction on the cheese packet. Some juris doctor recognized this travesty and acted. In addition to a payment for suffering clearer directions must occur on the package.

Well we have a newly improved national symbol, cheese baby.

I ran at the club this evening. It was a great workout. As you know from our bathroom whoas I spend more time at the health club then I should have last fall. Any way I ran 6 miles, good heart rate, good pulse, etc. I am getting ready for my big ski race. As you know I try to ski at least twice a season.

What was interesting was a story I heard in the whirlpool in the locker room a great story I have to share.

This guy was the BMOW (Big Man in the Whirlpool) and he knew his stuff. Apparently, the United States is in the process of printing an unprecedented amount of currency so that it can work with Iran because Iran is outside the global exchange market. The most important part of this was the fact that the US would have to invade Iran this year to combat price inflation of US products and the reduction of the dollar’s value versus other world currency. (more…)

I see the irony of the previous post.

Happy New Year!

I try not to be overly political on these pages, but I cannot help myself on this absurd turn of events. At any rate, I will keep it short.

The issue: Should you boycott shops that wish you ‘Happy Holidays’ instead of ‘Merry Christmas’.

This has consumed a number of hours of national television news outlets time and column inches in almost every major daily. The only though I have on this is – ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Please everyone, take a moment to size up the underlining motivations here:

1 – Shop owners want everyone, and I mean everyone to spend their money so they play the averages – everyone has a ‘Holiday’ of some sort at some time.

2 – Talk show hosts – on any point in the ideological spectrum – need to fill airtime.

So, is this really an issue? I suggest that everyone stop a minute, remember what is important this holiday season, and focus.

I for one look forward to spending as much time with the ones I love this holiday season not talking about these petty divisive issues.

Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, and/or Happy Holidays!!